my sweet pea

In the course of my work at the Humane Society I meet a lot of dogs. We take them in when people can't keep them anymore or when they are found as strays. We also do rescues - when a hoarder is discovered, or a puppy mill is shut down, the dogs are seized by the department of agriculture and then transferred to our custody. We rehabilitate them and adopt them out. We bond with all of our dogs, but some of them just steal your heart in a different way. I fell in love with a rescued dachshund a few months ago. Her name is Paige. I can't adopt a dog right now, no matter how much I wanted her. I'm still recovering from seeing her walk out the door with someone else. Someday I'll fall in love with another one, and the timing will be right, and I'll be able to take that dog home, but until then I'm going to miss my sweet pea.

heeere, kitschy kitschy

We have finally found a true flea market in our area. It's the kind you can get lost in if you don't keep track of landmarks - like the paper mache boar for thirty-five dollars, or the antique clown shoes for fifty, or the zither for seventy-five. There was also a huge, magnificent colonial-style dollhouse which I forgot to check the price on because I was too busy taking pictures of it to send to my mother. She went through a dollhouse phase in college and I thought she would like it. They even had a human skull for just three hundred and sixty-five dollars. I asked my dear husband if we could get it, and he said no. "You're not David Sedaris," he said. Oh, how I wish I were David Sedaris, who in his many travels frequents the kinds of shops where you can find practically anything you can think of. In one of his essays from Me Talk Pretty One Day he describes a customs form he once filled out on a trip home from France, declaring the following items:

Two-headed-calf skull
Ashtray in the shape of a protracted molar
Somebody's gallstone, labeled and displayed on an elegant stand
A set of eight Limoges dessert plates custom made for a pharmacy and hand-painted with the names of various lethal drugs
Suede fetus complete with umbilical cord
French eye chart that unintentionally includes the word FAT
Illustrated guides to skin rashes and war wounds

"I ran out of room long before I could mention my outdated surgical instruments", he wrote.

If the theme of Mr. Sedaris's purchases is The Unfathomable Darkness of Human Anatomy, mine is undoubtedly The Wonders of the Ananimate Animal Kingdom. If I had been able to buy as much as I wanted today I would have come home with a chipped but hefty old statue of a cartoonish French bulldog, an owl figurine made of seashells and rocks, the paper mache boar, one ceramic planter in the shape of a dachshund and another in the shape of a schnauzer, and four tiny figurines of a cat, a panda, a brown bear and a dog - five ninety-five for the set! I favor man-made materials over organics, because I like to avoid purchases that might bring vengeful spirits with them into my home.

P.S. That being said, had Blake not objected to it so strongly, even I might have been unable to pass up that unbeatable bargain on the human skull.

how to be a lady

Only say curse words when you’ve burned yourself on something, forgotten an appointment, or stepped on a Lego; in any case, try not to yell them. Don’t be afraid to make a mess while you’re cooking, but be able to set a beautiful table. Own an address book, a recipe book, several kinds of stationery and at least one photo album and/or scrapbook. Own at least one quilt made by a relative and at least one piece of furniture that you stained, painted, stenciled or lacquered yourself. Never, ever embarrass anyone on purpose. Go out of your way to preserve the dignity of every earthly creature. Extend compassion to every person no matter how different their beliefs, upbringing or circumstances. Treat every Sunday dinner as if it is the most special of occasions. Make sure your children know how to sew a button, scramble an egg and unclog a toilet. If you have a husband, make sure he has his own space in your house – more than just a corner! Keep calm and carry on. Do things for yourself. Send thank you notes. Love your mother. Love yourself.

cute tumblr

kitschy living
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